Money expert Martin Lewis does not want you to “overgift” this festive season. He has campaigned for a No Unnecessary Present Pact in the past; a sort of Christmas “prenup”, where you agree with your loved ones not to try to one-up each other with pressies that might not really be needed or wanted. “With Christmas, it’s a zero-sum game. I give to you. You feel obligated to give back to me at a similar value. Now, to fulfil that obligation, we do tit-for-tat giving, which means people end up with tat,” he said . But is it really as easy as just saying “let’s not go wild this year” – a move I’m sure a lot of us have tried, fruitlessly, in the past? And what does it really mean to give a great gift? Here, psychotherapist Holly Beedon , a clinical lead at Living Well UK who’s partnered with photo gifting experts Custtom , shared her thoughts. A lot of “performative gifting” misses the point, the therapist said “Financial anxiety doesn’t sit neatly in a separate box during the festive season – it seeps into how we make choices, especially around gifting,” Beedon shared. “When people feel pressure to match someone else’s generosity, or to maintain a certain image through expensive presents, it can trigger stress responses similar to those caused by other forms of social comparison.” They might worry about disappointing their loved ones, seeming stingy, or breaking traditions, even if their heart isn’t really in the exchange. It’s not that spending on a present they’ll love is always wrong; it’s more that putting yourself in financial stress for the sake of a performance neither you nor the giftee really enjoys isn’t exactly ideal. “That combination of financial strain and social expectation can make the run-up to Christmas feel less joyful and more like a performance they have to get right.” This is a shame, Beedon said; not only because 27% of Brits say Christmas will be a financial struggle this year, but also because it misses the point of great gifting. “Humans are wired for emotional connection, not price tags. A thoughtful gift communicates ‘I see you, I know you, I’ve paid attention,’ and that creates a sense of closeness and care,” she said. “In therapy, people rarely talk about the cost of a gift that meant a lot to them. They recall the meaning behind it, the story, the intention... “Physical objects can be lovely, but they don’t always tap into those deeper psychological needs – belonging, nostalgia, shared joy.” So, how can I give a more meaningful gift? It sounds cliché, but Beedon said it’s really about putting the giftee first – not your reputation, not the “tit-for-tat” gifting pattern, and not a pricetag. “Thoughtfulness isn’t dependent on cost – it’s dependent on attention. Small-budget gifts become meaningful when they reflect the recipient’s interests, memories or values,” she said. In some cases, that really might be the big-ticket item they’ve had their eye on all year. But it could also be smaller. “That might mean printing a favourite photo, writing a short reflection on a shared moment, curating a playlist, or giving something handmade.” She added, “Personal gifts feel grounding during times of financial strain, because they shift the focus from spending to connecting. “People remember how the gift made them feel, not how much it cost.” Related... Christmas Can Be Different For Neurodivergent Families, And That's OK 40 Must-See TV Offerings To Feast Your Eyes On This Christmas Season Christmas Dinner Sides You Can Cook In The Air Fryer