It’s sort of amazing how many kinds of bad gifts there are, isn’t it? There’s the impersonal kind; the obviously bought last-minute kind; the hideous kind; the inappropriately expensive kind; the useless and space-hogging kind. Then, there are the ones which make you feel unseen, even insultingly misinterpreted. A vegan friend of mine still talks about an ex who bought her a cheese subscription box for Christmas. I still wince when I remember that, to some relatives, I seem like a Mrs Brown’s Boys box set person. Because there are so many ways for a present to be terrible, crap gifts are common. But is it ever OK to admit that, or must we pretend all is great? And can we ever, in good conscience, return, donate, or bin them? Here, Jo Hayes, founder of Etiquette Expert, shared her thoughts. “A gift should be given freely” A true gift, the expert said, is given with “no strings attached”. That means you should be “entitled to do with it as you please”. And yes, that does include donating it, re-gifting it, or, if possible, returning it to the store it came from. “Taking it back to the store to get something you actually do like is far more useful/productive/worthwhile than letting an unwanted item languish in the back of a cupboard,” she added. “Or, re-gifting to someone you think would appreciate it. (But, caveat, don’t just pass on a bad gift for another person to dislike).” But generally speaking, there is no need to let the gifter know about any of this. Especially, Hayes said, “For people with whom we’re not in [a] close relationship (eg a neighbour, colleague, etc). “Politely thank them for the kind gesture, then do with it what you like.” When should I tell someone I hate their gifts? Though in general, “social graces forbid us from letting [our true feelings] slip”, Hayes said there is sometimes a case to be made for telling the gifter your true feelings. If, for instance, “it’s someone close to you, and you feel comfortable being very honest (eg, a spouse/ partner/sibling), you could (gently) let them know that while you love baking, an endless supply of (insert unwanted baking item here) isn’t really your thing – or something that you need”. In other words, repeat offenders, especially those who you’re close to and/or seem to have a “theme” for your bad gifts, might benefit from the chat. Don’t just share what you don’t like, though, the etiquette expert warned. “Give them some ideas of what you would love instead.” In fact, in general, Hayes is a fan of telling people what you want upfront rather than making them guess. “Be explicit, if necessary (and appropriate). ‘Darling, I’d love this item. You can buy it here. It costs [£X],’” she said. “This is important for people who are likely to be gifting us things long term... It’s silly to spend a lifetime receiving gifts you don’t like, with the other person thinking you love their gifts.” Remember, though, “Be kind. Kind, calm, clear is the MO.” Related... I Asked An Etiquette Expert The Best Ways To Cancel Christmas Plans Politely I Asked An Etiquette Expert, A Strength Trainer, And A Therapist About The New Rules Of Gym Crushes People Are Sharing The Outdated Wedding Etiquette Rules