Additional comment provided by therapist and founder of Pash Co. , Erin Pash . There’s no denying romantic heartbreak is tough (as anyone who’s been through a situationship will know). But friendship breakups can sting too, says therapist Erin Pash. “Romantic breakups come with a script: breakup songs, therapy language, social permission to fall apart. Friendship loss has almost none of that,” she said. Here, we spoke to Pash about when she sees the most friendship breakups, why they sting so much, how to move on from them, and when self-reflection might be needed. Most friendship breakups happen in people’s late 20s and midlife, said the therapist When HuffPost UK asked Pash when she sees the most friendship breakups, she answered: “The late 20s/early 30s and midlife are the biggest hotspots”. In your 30s, she explained, “life starts diverging fast – different relationship choices, kids or no kids, career paths, values. The friendship that worked at 22 doesn’t always survive who you’re becoming at 32”. And at midlife, people might start reconsidering huge parts of their lives. Maybe “someone gets sober, leaves a marriage, stops people-pleasing – and when you finally show up as your real self, some friendships can’t handle it. “Both stages come down to the same thing: when you get clearer on who you are, relationships that required a smaller version of you start to crack.” Why do friendship breakups hurt so much? Part of the reason is that they’re not really as acknowledged as romantic separations, said Pash. “There’s no ceremony, often no clean ending, and the world doesn’t really acknowledge the grief. But the intimacy in a close friendship can actually run deeper,” she said. “Your best friend may have known you in ways a partner never did, without the performance of attraction or the weight of shared finances. When that’s gone, you lose both a person and the version of yourself they reflected back to you.” How can I move on from a friendship breakup? It’s important not to try to ignore your pain, the therapist advised. “Give it real grief. Don’t minimise the loss just because it wasn’t romantic.” Then, consider what it is that’s actually upsetting you about their absence. “Did that friend make you laugh harder than anyone? Hold your history? Challenge you? “Naming what you’ve lost helps you heal it with precision instead of just sitting with a vague ache. And resist the urge to immediately fill the void. Rushed replacements rarely fix the real wound.” When should I begin self-reflecting? It’s common to wonder what role you played in a friendship breakup. And provided you aren’t spiralling about whether the whole thing was your fault (Pash says that’s “just shame”), self-reflection can actually be healthy. “Every ending has data in it,” the therapist stated. “Ask: what patterns am I noticing? If the same dynamic keeps showing up across multiple friendships, that’s a signal worth paying attention to. “Even simple journaling, like ‘What did I bring to this friendship that helped? What didn’t?’ can open real self-awareness without beating yourself up. The goal is growth, not guilt.” Remember, she added, that friendship breakups can be healthy. “Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and outgrowing a friendship isn’t a failure. It’s often a sign you’re evolving. The most honest thing you can do for yourself and someone else is stop maintaining a connection that’s become performative. “Letting go with intention and care is an act of integrity, not abandonment.” Related... 4 Science-Backed Rules For Actually Making Friends As An Adult Therapist Advice On Supporting Kids When They're 'Left Out' By Friends I Lost Touch With My Best Friend. 20 Years Later, Her Mum Made Me A Life-Changing Offer