The Huffington Post
When I say I’m terrible at my new hobby (chess), I don’t mean I’m unfamiliar with classic openings or sometimes make a basic error. I mean that I’ve done stuff even the most incompetent minds have never dreamed of. In a move I call the “Bechdel blunder,” I have mistakenly tried to checkmate my opponent’s queen instead of their king multiple times (the crowns confuse me!). I have other hobbies: knitting, crochet, baking , drawing, reading , and sewing, to name a few. But I have never been this catastrophically bad at anything I’ve tried to pick up before, and I’ve never felt more stupid. So why do I find the hobby uniquely relaxing? And why do I feel more confident, fulfilled, and engaged after being beaten at chess than I am after hobbies I’m way better at? I spoke to BACP-approved therapists Nicola Vanlint and Janey Morrissey about why being truly terrible at a new hobby might be great for our brains. Being a beginner may help your psychological flexibility Vanlint told us that for a lot of adults, being a true beginner at something can leave you feeling vulnerable. But “engaging in low-stakes, novel activities may foster psychological flexibility... and build resilience through repeated exposure to manageable discomfort,” she explained. “When we allow ourselves to be imperfect in low-stakes environments, we teach the brain that mistakes are tolerable, discomfort is survivable, and self-worth does not need to depend on performance.” Psychological flexibility was described in a 2010 paper as being a “fundamental aspect of health”, helping to improve our “potential to better tolerate and effectively use emotions, thoughts, and behaviour to extract the best possible outcomes in varying situations”. For her part, Morrissey added, “Hobbies, leisure activities and learning new skills can act as a recovery from the stress of other areas of life. “Doing something purely for joy and not for results can activate the parasympathetic system, which helps us to put the brain in a mode of play and rest, rather than obligation. This can really soothe the nervous system and support mental health.” It could help to reduce perfectionism, too 2024 research linked perfectionism to worse mental well-being, while cognitive rigidity (not being psychologically flexible) appeared to be associated with an increased risk of mental distress. So, while “For many adults, particularly high achievers, occupying the role of a beginner can evoke vulnerability due to perfectionistic standards and fear of evaluation,” Vanlint said, overcoming that discomfort can be really good for us. Learning to cope with it can “reduce perfectionistic thinking” and “help individuals tolerate ‘good enough’ rather than striving for immediate mastery”. Ultimately, she ended, “Being bad at something can be good for your mental health because it teaches you that enjoyment and self-worth do not have to be earned through achievement. “When adults engage in activities purely for enjoyment rather than performance, it can reduce the psychological habit of tying self-worth to success and reinforce a more stable, compassionate sense of self.” Related... Over-70s With This Hobby May Be 39% Less Likely To Develop Dementia I Tried Reading Before Bed For A Week To See If It Helped My Insomnia People Are Sharing Their Most Expensive Hobbies
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