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Content warning: This article references suicide. Helplines can be found at the bottom of the page. A controversial rule barring single parents from receiving equal help from the Government for their children – even if they share 50/50 custody – is facing a legal challenge at the Human Rights Review Tribunal. The Herald earlier reported how one single mother feared she might end up homeless due to the policy, which Minister of Social Development Louise Upston said she had no plans to change. More parents have now shared their stories, with one man revealing the lack of financial help meant he must live in a tent with his disabled children even in the heart of winter, and another saying he was driven to a suicide attempt. A third man, Hamilton father Trevarr McCarthy, said he would sometimes skip meals so his children did not go without. McCarthy is one of two single parents taking his case to the Human Rights Review Tribunal with the help of director of human rights proceedings, Greg Robins. McCarthy previously filed a petition to Parliament challenging the policy, noting it discriminated against single parents and failed to protect children from the consequences of that discrimination. The petition is on hold while the human rights case proceeds. He discovered he could not get assistance when he sought help for childcare while studying a diploma in psychology and was told he was ineligible. On appeal, McCarthy said it could not be determined whether he or his ex-partner was the primary caregiver, so the Ministry of Social Development (MSD) deemed that neither of them were – meaning neither were allowed to receive the benefits. He said the legislation needed to change to keep up with the way society had changed. “If you trace the legislation back ... when it was first set up, structures of society were that dad went to work and mum stayed home. Society’s moved on, parenting is now 50/50. Legislation hasn’t kept up.” McCarthy works but makes only a low wage and finds he is “constantly playing catch-up” with bills. Due to a change in custody circumstances, he recently began receiving a reduced sole parent benefit. He felt frustrated and annoyed with the MSD’s response, because raising the issue was only ever met with “we can’t do anything”. “To me, it’s a bit of a cop-out saying it’s the legislation,” he said, adding more should be done to push change in that case. “All sides of the House are saying ‘we’re putting children first’. When? How?” Greg Robins, of the Office of Human Rights Proceedings, said it was happy to support the challenges to the law and was awaiting a hearing date. “It seems unfair that the ministry can’t pay two parent rates, or at least apportion the rates between them,” Robins said. “Aside from the real impact on the parents, the kids can also suffer: if the parents share 50-50 care, but the law means they’re not paid fairly, that could harm the kids’ relationship with one or both of their parents. That is a real tragedy.” Father living in tent with sons says system ‘doesn’t fit’ everyone Even in the middle of winter, Matthew’s* children think it’s a bit of an adventure sleeping in a tent, bundled under thick layers of blankets. He’s done what he can to make the tent a home. There’s a mattress stacked on crates and a small TV. It’s pitched in a friend’s backyard. This is where he lives with his two high-needs, autistic sons for the half of the week he has custody. Matthew used to have a roof over his head – a small house he was able to rent for $160 per week, including power – but he gave it up because he couldn’t afford to feed, clothe or otherwise provide what his kids needed while still paying rent. He has slept on friends’ couches, in his car and at his mother’s retirement village but ultimately ended up in the tent, where he has been living since March last year. “Yesterday I spent more time crying than I did breathing,” Matthew said during an interview with the Herald. He believes if he could...
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