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'I'm Not Hosting Christmas After My Family Refused To Take Turns Or Chip In'

'I'm Not Hosting Christmas After My Family Refused To Take Turns Or Chip In'

Christmas hosting traditionally falls to the parents , even once their kids fly the nest, however sometimes the responsibility might be passed on to the next generation. It can be an exciting opportunity at first. But over time, it can also grow to become a thankless task – especially if the people you’re hosting don’t appreciate the effort (and money) that goes into feeding everyone on Christmas Day. Such is the case for one disgruntled Mumsnet user , who shared that they have hosted Christmas for several years now because they have a dining room big enough for their family. However, the issue with hosting each year, especially in the current economic climate , is that it costs them a small fortune. “I do all the cooking, buy all the extra food, stock the house with drinks, and everyone else turns up empty handed,” they said on the parenting forum, noting that their sister might turn up with a “packet of bread rolls”, while their brother “brings nothing”. Obviously, they were getting a raw deal. So, they said they’ve suggested rotating hosting from now on – or that everyone chips in for food if they continue to host. Family toasting at Christmas “The reaction was unbelievable. I was told that because I ‘earn the most’ and have ‘the nice house’, it’s my job to host, and that ‘tradition is tradition’,” they said. “My mum even said it would be ‘selfish’ to break the family routine.” The proposal has kicked up such a fuss that the host suggested the family books a pub Christmas lunch instead this year, which also went down like a lead balloon. “AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to finally put my foot down and say if no one else wants to host, then they’re welcome to do their own thing?” said the Mumsnet user. The overwhelming majority of respondents thought the OP (original poster)’s family were being unreasonable. “Your family are awful, OP! Please stand your ground,” said one commenter. Plenty of other responses featured far stronger vocabulary. Some people went as far as suggesting the OP should book themselves a mini break over Christmas and leave their family scrambling, instead. What does an etiquette expert think of asking people to chip in for Christmas dinner? Jo Hayes, etiquette expert and founder of EtiquetteExpert.org , told HuffPost UK that in this instance, she would encourage the OP “to put her foot down”. The etiquette pro said a “line needs to be drawn” and that the desire to share the costs associated with Christmas Day lunch and celebrations is “ absolutely fair and reasonable”. “As she’s stated, it’s a small fortune to put on Christmas Day lunch, and to carry that burden all herself – I’m aghast, appalled and astounded at the gall of her family,” she said. While a pub lunch sounds “like a fantastic idea”, she said if the family doesn’t like it, the “decent thing” is “chipping in”. “This is, in fact, what most families with adult siblings do,” she added. The fairest way to do this is tot up how much everything will cost and split it evenly between how many adults will be attending, she suggested. Or, if family members are going to bring dishes to contribute to the meal, they should roughly cost the same amount. For example, if someone’s bringing meat (which can be more expensive than veg), another person should perhaps bring a couple of sides. And if family members have a problem with chipping in, Hayes suggested the best response is to be “kind, but firm”. “Kindly, calmly, but clearly establish a very firm line in the sand about how things are going to look going forwards,” she advised. “Perhaps an email, or text message, to all family members is the best way to do this, so that one can communicate one’s position clearly, without charged emotions getting in the way.” Good luck! Related... This Year's Most Enchanting Christmas Markets You Can't Miss Try Top Kids' Toy Organisation Trick Now For A Clutter-Free Christmas 21 Alternative Christmas Bangers To Freshen Up Your Festive Playlist