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My Kids Are Asking About All The England Flags. What Should I Tell Them?

My Kids Are Asking About All The England Flags. What Should I Tell Them?

St George's Cross flags, the national flag of England, fly from lamp posts outside houses on a residential street in Stanwell, west London on August 27, 2025. English flags are cropping up in towns and cities across much of the country – and even further afield (a village in Wales woke up one morning to find St George’s Cross graffiti plastered across signs and bus stops ). While these flags usually crop up during football tournaments, children are asking why they’re being flown – and in some cases, graffitied, now – and for some parents, they don’t know where to even begin. Such was the case for one parent who took to Mumsnet to say their children, aged eight and 11 years old, were “asking about the current influx of England flags”. “How do you explain it?” asked the parent. “I’ve tried to explain it but to be honest I don’t really understand it fully myself, and think I’ve just bumbled out a lot of rubbish that they don’t really get. Any ideas on an age appropriate way?” While some people say they are being proud and patriotic by flying the flag, given the wider context and division around immigration right now , as well as how the flag has been co-opted by far-right groups , it can be a tricky area for parents to navigate when kids ask what it all means. Responses were mixed. One commenter said: “In a nutshell people are displaying the flag in what they feel is a rebellious act against a government which doesn’t listen to them or, in fact, care about them in any way at all.” Another said: “At 8 and 11, I would presume that they have an understanding of racism? I would just explain that there are sadly still a lot of racists around, and that some of them like to express this by flying the flag. “I would also explain, of course, that there is nothing inherently racist about the flag itself, but that the racists were trying to claim it for their own cause.” It’s certainly a tricky one – and not something they write about in your average parenting advice books. So, I enlisted the help of a therapist who works with young people, and a clinical psychologist, to advise parents on the best approach to take. How to talk to kids about the influx of England flags The issue is the flag has multiple meanings – and not only this, it means different things to different people. While some might see it as a way to say you’re proud to be English, others might see it as a sign of division and hatred. And this is even more confusing for children. Fiona Yassin , family psychotherapist and founder of The Wave Clinic, told HuffPost UK: “The double meaning of some flags and symbols can leave children and young people confused. “It’s important to remember that children are often asking questions from a place of curiosity, not judgement. When a question feels loaded for parents, they may try and defend it, which can create anxiety in parenting. “Avoid answering questions from this standpoint and try not to parent through the lens of anxiety. Stick to short, understandable sentences and simple, age appropriate explanations.” Both experts agree that a balanced and open approach is best. But how much detail you offer will depend on the age of your child. For primary school-age children Yassin suggested connecting the discussion to real-life examples to help make it more meaningful for a child. For this conversation, parents may want to use the concept of team or house colours at school. “You could explain that flags are similar to team colours at school. Just like cheering for the purple team on sports day shows that you’re part of a team, a flag can show pride in a place or a group,” she explained. The therapist said parents could share that being excited about a team or a flag “doesn’t mean that we are better than anyone else” or that “we should leave anyone out”. “For example, cheering for the purple team doesn’t mean the green, yellow or red teams are less important,” she said. “Introduce the idea of different messages. You might say ‘Flags can have nice meanings, like being proud of your home, but sometimes people use them to say unkind things about others. It’s important to be kind and inclusive, no matter what team you are in or flag you are waving’.” Dr Patapia Tzotzoli, clinical psychologist and founder of My Triage Network, told HuffPost UK the goal during these conversations is not to provide a single answer, “but to open a space for dialogue, showing children that it is possible to hold multiple perspectives while keeping compassion at the centre”. “In this way, they learn that while symbols may sometimes divide or unite, what matters most is treating people with kindness, fairness, and inclusion,” she said. For tweens and teens If your child is a bit older, it might also help to ask them what they think the flags mean. “Acknowledge and validate their feelings – whether they find the flags exciting or unsettling – and then explain that symbols can carry different meanings for different people,” said Dr Tzotzoli. “For example, for some, flags represent pride and belonging, while for others they may bring discomfort because of how flags are being used or have been used in the past.” Yassin urges parents to be “honest and balanced” when talking to kids about the flags. “Acknowledge that some people use flags to show unity, whilst others may use the same symbols in a way that are not kind or inclusive. Encourage them to think critically rather than telling them what to believe,” she said. The therapist stressed that “our job as parents is to empower children to be critical thinkers and make solid, valuable decisions, and to do that, we need to provide them with factual information”. You could discuss values and choices with your child, as part of this discussion. It might be helpful to show them that being part of something – whether that’s a team, a community, or a country – “should involve curiosity, respect, and fairness”, she added. “It’s okay to celebrate identity, but it should never come at the expense of being unkind or excluding others.” And if your child does share their viewpoint on the flags, the therapist warns not to “dismiss it”. “When children express their thoughts on these issues, as parents it’s important we actively listen and validate our child’s experiences. Being present and open for discussion is essential,” she said. “Ensure they know they will not be judged. Let your child know that there is no question too small or too silly to ask. If we encourage children to talk, we must ensure we meet it with empathy, and reassurance that they will not be judged. If children fear talking to us, it’s unlikely they will come to us when they need help the most.” Related... I'm An Ex-Paramedic. I Teach My Kids To Swear In This 1 Specific Situation Urgent Health Warning Issued Ahead Of Kids' Return To School Your Child Was Called A Racist Slur. Here's How To Talk To Them About It

Is SPF 50 Actually That Much Better Than SPF 30? The Answer May Surprise You.

Is SPF 50 Actually That Much Better Than SPF 30? The Answer May Surprise You.

There’s a figure that has been circulating on the internet for years, stating that SPF 50 provides only about 1% more protection than SPF 30. While that figure is factual, people have been doing the SPF math all wrong. Although the percentage is small, it has a much bigger impact than we can imagine. HuffPost spoke to three board-certified dermatologists, including two Mohs surgeons (specialists in skin cancer), to explain what that means and help determine the type of sunscreen we should use and why. What does SPF 50 do? SPF stands for “sun protection factor” and refers to the amount of protection against UVB rays. Before picking a sunscreen, “You need to know what percentage of the sun’s UVB rays are being filtered. For instance, SPF 15 is 93%, SPF 30 is 97%, SPF 50 is 98% and SPF 100 is 99%,” said Dr. Kenneth Mark , a board-certified dermatologist and Mohs surgeon. “Numerically, there isn’t much of a difference between SPF 50 and SPF 30 but in real-world use, it is significantly better” said Dr. Margarita Lolis , a board-certified dermatologist and Mohs surgeon at Schweiger Dermatology Group in New Jersey. “Most people under-apply sunscreen, which lowers the actual protection against UVB rays. SPF 50 gives a better buffer in my opinion.” The protection against UVA rays isn’t measured in the same way. “The SPF number has nothing to do with UVA protection,” Mark said. In the U.S, the Food and Drug Administration mainly considers zinc and titanium dioxide-based sunscreens as offering adequate protection against both UVA and UVB rays. However, a broad-spectrum sunscreen is what you should be on the lookout for. Outside the U.S., you can look for a “ PA rating ,” which is common in Japan, or a “ star rating ” in Europe. “While SPF 50 offers only 1% extra filtering of the sun’s UVB rays compared to SPF 30, if someone would burn in five minutes of sun exposure without any SPF, an SPF of 30 would allow them to not burn for 150 minutes, and an SPF 50 would allow them not to burn for 250 minutes,” explained Mark. In this example, we can see the difference between the two is significant. “The SPF is measured by checking how long it would take skin to get red with sun exposure,” said Dr. Kiran Mian , a board-certified dermatologist at Hudson Dermatology and Laser Surgery in New York. “Numerically, there isn’t much of a difference between SPF 50 and SPF 30 but in real-world use, it is significantly better,” said Dr. Margarita Lolis, a board-certified dermatologist and Mohs surgeon. “The UVB value is calculated as the ratio of how much time it takes UVB radiation for skin to get red with sunscreen, divided by how much time it takes for skin to get red without that sunscreen,” Mian explained. “The main idea is that the higher the number, the extra layer of protection of the typical margin of error of not applying properly or reapplying enough,” noted Mark. Does SPF 100 offer double the protection of SPF 50? No — that’s a myth, as sunscreen protection isn’t cumulative in that way. “SPF is not a linear scale; it is logarithmic,” Lolis said. “SPF ratings aren’t proportional to strength. SPF 100 isn’t double the SPF 50. In reality it offers 1% more protection.” “SPF 50 allows for 1 out of every 50 UVB rays to enter, while SPF 100 allows 1 out of every 100 UVB rays to enter,” Mian explained. The same goes for combining more than one sunscreen, thinking this will offer more combined protection. This is simply not true, explained Mian: “If you apply an SPF 50 on top of an SPF 30, it does not equal SPF 80. You are protected by the higher of the SPFs.” When is SPF 30 good enough? “If someone has medium to dark skin, does not usually burn, and has never had skin cancer, SPF 30 is sufficient,” noted Mian. People with dark skin have a natural protection due to the increased melanin in their skin, but this isn’t an absolute protection from UVB rays, says Lolis. “Cumulative UV damage contributes to photo aging as well as skin cancers rarely, and dark-skin individuals are more prone to post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation” she added. Even if you opt for an SPF 30, you should still be careful in higher-risk parts of the body, such as the palms of hands, soles of feet, and lighter parts of the body, noted Mark. On the other hand, an SPF 50 is highly recommended in the following cases: for children, people who burn easily, anyone who has prolonged sun exposure (beach or a hike), people with a history of skin cancer, melasma, post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation, acne or rosacea, and people with sensitive skin. Additionally, an SPF 50 is preferred to SPF 30 for anyone on photosensitive medications, those who are immunosuppressed, and those who have recently had procedures (like lasers, peels or microneedling). Sunscreen misconceptions “Theoretically, a higher SPF does offer longer protection. However, things like sweating, rubbing the skin, or swimming make SPF not last as long, so reapplication is key,” Mian said. All experts agreed that most of the time people aren’t applying enough sunscreen to reach the advertised level of SPF. For example, three people could all apply an SPF 50, and one could get SPF 50-level protection, one SPF 30 protection and one SPF 20 protection, noted Mark. Paying attention to the amount of sunscreen applied is of the utmost importance. “You need 2 milligrams per square centimeter of skin to get the listed level of sun protection, which is about 1/4 teaspoon for the face and one shot glass for a full adult body. Since most people are not measuring their sunscreen before applying it, I tell my patients to apply two full finger lengths of sunscreen for their face and neck,” Mian said. “The classic example was from about 30 years ago, where we learned the typical person applying an SPF 15 — the most popular maximum at the time — was actually getting an SPF of 4! Therefore, if you do not apply enough, you do not get the stated level of protection,” Mark said. Another issue is thinking a higher SPF will last all day, potentially leading to people skipping reapplication, noted Lolis. “Using a higher SPF isn’t the only reason people don’t reapply,” Mark said. “Regardless, it is very challenging to perfectly apply initially and to reapply properly throughout the day, so the higher SPF does help protect somewhat against that margin of error,” he added. Verdict: Is SPF 50 Actually That Much Better Than SPF 30? Although SPF 50 (and SPF 100) is better than SPF 30 in terms of the overall protection of the skin, it may create a false sense of security, leading people to forgo reapplication and think they are fully protected for longer. “Application quantity is so extremely important and one of the biggest pitfalls that patients fall into. When you do not apply enough sunscreen, you are drastically reducing its effectiveness,” noted Lolis. A higher SPF value is very significant if you are prone to skin cancer, have very light skin prone to sunburn, or are in strong sun for a prolonged period, Mian said. No matter the SPF you pick, ensure you apply the appropriate amount and reapply every two hours, or sooner if you’ve been swimming, sweating or exercising. Adding another layer of protection, like an umbrella, hat and UV clothing is also helpful. Related... I Tried The Collagen Supplements Skin Doctors Swear By – My Face Is Glowing I Tried The Skin-Renewing SPF Dua Lipa Takes On Holiday – And My Skin's Never Been Happier So THAT's Why Your Skin Is So Itchy Recently

I Made 1 Decision Before Marriage That Left People Very Uncomfortable. Here's Why I Did It.

I Made 1 Decision Before Marriage That Left People Very Uncomfortable. Here's Why I Did It.

The author on the day of her bridal shower in May 2022 in Brooklyn, New York. I grew up with an almost painful awareness of money – how little my family had, how hard it was to come by, and how much having it mattered. The lack of money defined my entire childhood and “want” was counterbalanced with “can’t” so often I stopped wanting altogether. I learned to stretch one lunch meal into two – eating just enough to quell hunger, but never enough to be satiated. I learned to not reach for the toys and clothes other kids brought and wore to school, if just to avoid the disappointment in my parents’ eyes when they told me no. I learned that even if I couldn’t legally work until 14, a local business would let me anyway if it meant paying me half the minimum wage. Most importantly, I learned to prioritise and save what little earnings I had and make it last a year by making a beeline to the clearance rack in a department store, ordering the cheapest appetiser on the menu when out with friends, and pretending to be younger than I was to pay cheaper fares at the movies. The little money my family had covered the bare necessities – the roof over our heads, the ingredients for our batch-made meals, the prep courses for specialised public school programs that would hopefully one day provide us with access to a stronger financial future. My parents were Soviet emigres who both worked full time and ran side hustles in their limited free time to afford even our substandard quality of life. They never thought of their incomes as their own – everything they made was pooled together for the good of the family, which meant personal purchases were considered indulgences and usually clouded with guilt on the rare occasions they were made. There is a limited notion of the “self” when your family is barely scraping by – self-care, self-protection, and personal interest take a back seat to the group’s survival. Spending any money on yourself can feel like betraying the family. To this day, my parents still won’t splurge on vacations. They eat generic corn flakes, use coupons for McDonald’s, and collect sugar packets and napkins from coffee shops and restaurants. They may no longer be living below the poverty line, but I know they will always think of themselves as poor – it’s like a weight they put down long ago but that continues to drag them down. As I grew up – watching their account balance increase while they struggled to outgrow the impoverished mindset they held for decades – I knew it was my obligation, as their first-generation daughter, to protect my financial interests while having a healthier and more honest relationship with money than the one I grew up with. Years later, in the thick of my engagement, as my fiance and I discussed our honeymoon details and our plans for the faraway future, he nudged me gently toward a more timely objective. “So, did your lawyer give you the green light on the prenup yet?” he asked. She had, after spending no more than an hour reviewing the paperwork and finding it to be completely fair and in accordance with all the terms we’d discussed as we drafted it together. I left her office feeling good about crossing another item off our wedding to-do list. We had agreed that if we divorced, we would evenly split everything we made in the marriage. Everything we entered into the marriage with (both assets and liabilities) or stood to inherit would remain solely our own. My partner and I are both thoughtful and careful with our money. We work hard and share the similar financial values of people who have known difficulty and have lacked the security of a safety net to fall back on. In fact, we know we might be put in a position to act as a safety net for our own families in the future. After growing up poor, I steadily overcame my financial insecurities and began to allow myself more indulgences with every promotion that came my way. My fiance grew up in a family that had money, but that wealth dwindled to nearly nothing by the time we met in university. We both had on-campus jobs and were forced to pinch pennies more than our friends were. As we fell in love, we recognised in each other the ambition and hunger of people whose relationship with money was scarred and rooted in the fear of not having it. Somewhere along the path of healing those wounds, we had both independently come to the conclusion that we were interested in a prenup for our marriage, so we never felt the need to have a formal discussion about it. But when it came time to sign the paperwork, I realised I felt weird about it and I wasn’t sure why. As I reflected on the situation, I realised my anxiety stemmed from some of the closest people in my life reacting less than enthusiastically to our plan. Friends who had known us love each other deeply for almost a decade expressed their concern about what they saw as our lack of faith in our future together. “Are you sure you want to enter a marriage discussing the possibility of a divorce?” someone asked. “Whose idea was it to do this?” another gently prodded. The truth is that nobody who enters a marriage more in love than ever and freshly committed to eternity is thinking about divorce. My fiance and I pride ourselves in our ability to have difficult conversations and forge an authentic life together, cognisant of not repeating some of our parents’ mistakes – of which they had made plenty. We saw our upcoming wedding as an opportunity to celebrate with the people we loved but we knew the marriage itself was a legal and social contract. He had witnessed a prolonged divorce between his parents, where having only one parent who was employed led to a power imbalance. My parents were still married, but their financial interdependence was a big part of why they remained bound to each other. In both situations, their economic issues had momentous impacts on their children. As we prepared to marry, we obviously wanted our new family to stay together, but that started with honesty about our expectations, our priorities, and, yes, our preferred financial terms and conditions. We’d long known we were each other’s “forever” person. We saw our upcoming wedding as an opportunity to celebrate with the people we loved but we knew the marriage itself was a legal and social contract. When a couple chooses to not draw up a prenup, there are still laws and terms in place that determine what happens to their assets, income and debt in the event of a divorce. If you don’t come up with an agreement that covers all of that, those rules are determined and enforced by the state. The government will decide things like who pays for alimony, how much they pay (and for how long), who gets the family home or the stocks that haven’t yet vested, who needs to pay for the student debt, and every other single detail regarding shared financial assets and liabilities. We thought of our prenup as an insurance policy. When you get a pet, propose with an engagement ring, or buy a house – you don’t expect your dog to get sick, the ring to get lost, or the house to catch fire. We don’t anticipate or want to encounter the worst possible outcome for the things that we care most about. But with almost 50% of all marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, we didn’t want to enter our marriage with our eyes wide shut. It gave us peace of mind to draft up the fairest terms possible – just in case – and to have challenging but important conversations about things like future children, end-of-life care for parents, our financial priorities, and contingency plans for our future wealth. I left those conversations feeling more on the same page as a couple than ever – and I left them feeling lighter. As we addressed and discussed the financial imbalances and hardships in the marriages we grew up witnessing, it felt healing and refreshing to enter our marriage with honesty and clarity. Historically, prenups have had the negative reputation of maintaining a power imbalance. We’ve all watched a movie or a show where the agreement is mentioned as part of a web of entrapment woven by the dominant, rich and/or famous partner. In reality, however, the tides are shifting. There’s been a 400% increase in prenups since 2010 , largely driven by millennials – who are, on average, getting married later in life and who view their marriage as more of a true partnership. Household debt is also climbing at a head-spinning pace and interest rates are equally high. Our relationship, at present, doesn’t have much of a power imbalance. We have similar financial trajectories and neither of us stands to come into any massive financial windfall from our families. While that may change over the course of our lives, we used our prenup to assert our present and future hopes for our partnership, and draw the boundaries of what we consider ours – both individually and as a couple. As I explained the gist of all this to my friends, I found myself feeling defensive about a decision I had carefully considered. I’d read the entire prenup front to back and highlighted the few questions I had so my attorney could review it. Because my partner is getting an advanced educational degree, I actually had significantly more money than him at the time and I felt more financially empowered than ever before in my life. The pulsing anxiety I’d felt about money for most of my life had finally faded to a distant background hum. I felt immense pride that both my partner and I had overcome periods of financial turmoil and our previously fear-based relationships with money to make a healthy plan to share our wealth. As people my age are considering prenups more than any previous generation, I found myself wondering when the social acceptance for the decision to choose one will finally show up. I also wondered why I had allowed other people’s thoughts about our prenup to shake up my confidence in our decision, when I’d always felt that establishing one would make the foundation of our marriage stronger. I finally came to the realisation that everyone else’s opinions about our prenup were just that – opinions. If we didn’t feel the need to give credence to everyone’s thoughts about our wedding location, budget, or what vendors we should prioritise, then why should our approach to this piece of paper be any different? Our prenup reflects our values: our commitment to open and honest communication, to parity and teamwork in all the things that we do, and to our love and support for each other. Others may see a prenup as a sign of danger or even defeat, but to us, it’s a sign of hope. We hope to continue to have difficult but fruitful conversations with each other in times of adversity or discomfort. We hope that we can overcome any big obstacle that throws a wrench in our life’s plans and emerge stronger together. We hope to never again have a relationship with money that elicits fear. And most importantly, we hope that we never get a divorce. This piece was originally published in July 2023 and we are rerunning it now as part of HuffPost Personal’s “Best Of” series. Paula Tsvayg works in international marketing by day and writes feverishly by scented candlelight at night. A born-and-raised New Yorker, she recently relocated to the New Hampshire woods with her husband and their new puppy and misses good pizza and bagels. When she’s not reading (or writing), you can find her spending time with friends, watching dramas on TV, or cooking ambitious recipes. Do you have a compelling personal story you’d like to see published on HuffPost? Find out what we’re looking for here and send us a pitch . Related... With 5 Words, My Marriage Ended. Then A Chance Encounter Across The World Gave Me New Life. 'Help! Devices Are Destroying My Kids And My Marriage' I’m A Relationship Expert — These Are 5 Signs That Your Marriage Is Ending