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I spent years trying to avoid Vinted. It turns out I was right to be afraid | Carys Afoko

I spent years trying to avoid Vinted. It turns out I was right to be afraid | Carys Afoko

I eventually signed up in the hope that buying and selling secondhand clothes would help me fight fast fashion. It just made me cheap I downloaded Vinted for the first time this year. I’m incredibly late to the party, since the app has more than 16 million UK users and launched here in 2014. My not-so-conscientious objection was rooted in a hatred of secondhand clothes. My inner (teenaged) self said I’d worked my way to being able to afford nice (ie new) things, and I didn’t want my wardrobe to look like I’d raided a jumble sale. Shopping secondhand would make me feel poor again. Two things changed. Every other time I asked a well-dressed friend where her jumper, bag or trainers were from, she would say Vinted. Then, as I emptied my wardrobe from the storage unit it had been living in for a year, I was greeted by my secret shame: two unworn shirts from a cult (ie expensive) brand that I bought years ago and missed the window to return. Continue reading...

Actor Eve Myles looks back: ‘Early on, I was told I wasn’t the typical leading lady. Now I realise my idiosyncrasies are what make me authentic’

Actor Eve Myles looks back: ‘Early on, I was told I wasn’t the typical leading lady. Now I realise my idiosyncrasies are what make me authentic’

The Doctor Who and Torchwood star on growing up in a mining village, how Russell T Davies changed her life, and sausage rolls Born in 1978 in Ystradgynlais, Wales, actor Eve Myles trained at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama before landing her first major role as Ceri Lewis in the BBC Wales drama Belonging, which ran from 2000 to 2009. She became a mainstream name playing Gwen Cooper in Torchwood, the BBC’s Doctor Who spin-off, from 2006 to 2011, and later won acclaim for her lead performance as Faith Howells in the thriller Keeping Faith/ Un Bore Mercher . She lives in Cardiff with her husband, the actor Bradley Freegard, and their three daughters. She stars in ITV’s drama series The Hack this autumn. This photo, taken at my third birthday party, reveals that I was brought up on pork-based foods. For this special occasion, it was sausage rolls and chipolatas on sticks – very posh, and the marker of any good celebration. My mother had obviously gone to town on that icing to hide the atrocity of the sponge cake that was buried under there. I would have been high as a kite after taking one bite. Continue reading...

‘Rashes, pain, blisters and bleeding’ … are we glossing over the dangers of manicures?

‘Rashes, pain, blisters and bleeding’ … are we glossing over the dangers of manicures?

Gel and acrylic varnishes have been blamed for a host of unpleasant side-effects, stretching far beyond the fingertips. Some ingredients have been banned – but will that be enough to make the process safe? From French tips to glazed doughnuts , shimmering cat eye to high-shine chrome, getting your nails done is the beauty trend that refuses to fade. Gel polish, dip powder, acrylic overlays … whatever the method, the demand for durable, chip-resistant, manicured nails is so strong that salons now often outnumber high street bank branches in the UK. But behind the glossy finish lies a more complicated story. Last month, the European Union banned TPO – an ingredient that helps gel polish to harden under UV light – after animal studies suggested it could harm fertility or a developing foetus. The UK is expected to follow next year. It’s not the first safety red flag: Hema, another common ingredient, was restricted in DIY nail kits in 2021 after a surge in cases of allergic contact dermatitis, a painful skin condition marked by redness, blistering and swelling. So how safe is a gel manicure? And what can you do to protect yourself? Continue reading...

The Workplace Heating Wars Have Commenced: Here's How To Survive Them

The Workplace Heating Wars Have Commenced: Here's How To Survive Them

Person adjusting thermostat If you work in an office, you might have noticed the following pattern as the seasons change: some people start calling for more central heating, while others complain they feel far too hot when the radiators are on. Turns out there’s a reason for at least some of these debates. Women and men are comfortable at different temps , on average – and, in a move I think it’s fair to describe as “typical”, office heating was designed for the boys . Partly due to our body composition, shared workspaces often leave women chilly. Which is interesting, and a little frustrating – but ultimately, what can you do about it? As Redditor u/DevilishlyHandsome63 wrote to r/AskUK , it’s hard to reach a compromise that doesn’t leave one side of the central heating wars uncomfortable. He’s in a stalemate with a colleague who says she’s extremely cold in the day and asks for the heating to stay on. He says it’s hot; she says to open a window; he asks her to put on a jumper and lower the heating; neither is happy. It’s a familiar scenario to many of us. So, we asked Alan Price, CEO at Bright HR , and Charly Huang, HR expert and Senior Business Advisor of AceBallMarkers.com , how to handle the contentious issue. There is no “correct” temperature, but the comfort of the majority is most important “Comfort is subjective. There is no ideal temperature. Yelling that from the rooftops makes the difference,” Huang said. Part of the issue in situations like the one the Redditor described is that neither party sees the other person’s discomfort. “Small disagreements can easily escalate into larger conflicts and unacceptable workplace behaviour, so being able to effectively manage this in the workplace will, therefore, be crucial for employers,” Price advised. However, while Price said there might be a healthy middle ground for both when it comes to the heating, Huang thinks the practical difficulties faced by someone who’s overheating are a little more complicated. “A cold person can add layers. A hot person has limits – they can’t keep removing clothes forever,” she advised (a lot of commenters under the original post felt this way too). Once you’ve reached a central heating temperature that most people, not just the most outspoken two, feel comfortable with, Huang says you can try to make small adjustments. “Provide equipment,” she suggested. “Desk fans, portable heaters, agreed settings. These workable solutions unwind tension.” “Additionally,” Price added, “there may be situations where employees are more sensitive to certain temperatures because of a health condition. “In this case, employers may need to consider whether a reasonable adjustment may need to be made to support the individual.” What if the argument gets too ― sorry for the pun ― heated? Even though this seems like a relatively insignificant issue, Price and Huang both said that the disagreement can quickly get out of hand. “There will be conflicting opinions in the workplace, but there is a way in which an employee can appropriately raise them,” he advised. “If the employee fails to do so and the situation persists, then mediation or a disciplinary process may be required.” If you want to prevent this before it gets to a disciplinary stage, Huang said, try solving “heating problems with empathy and humour” – both of you are uncomfortable, and both of you need to put the issue into perspective. Related... The Fridge Setting An Expert Says Could Be Ruining Your Wine A Travel Pro Spills Her Secret(s) To Bagging Cheap Family Holidays 4 Rules For Healthy Lie-Ins, According To Sleep Experts

'I Think We Have A Dead Bedroom. My Wife Has A Wildly Different Take.'

'I Think We Have A Dead Bedroom. My Wife Has A Wildly Different Take.'

Family Beef is our family and relationship advice column at HuffPost Family. Have a beef you want us to weigh in on? Submit it here . Dear Family Beef, My wife (43) and I (44) have been together for 11 years, married for three. We’ve always had a pretty consistent sex life, with a few slower or less active periods over the years: when our kids (6 and 9) were always sleeping in our bed, when my mother got sick, when my wife had a fracture. But they always felt like understandable circumstances where sex wasn’t the priority. I had my hand; it was fine. Outside that, we’ve stuck with once a week or more pretty consistently. In this past year, we’ve had sex maybe four or five times. I am the one to initiate most of the time, and it feels like it wouldn’t happen if I didn’t. She says she’s tired or “isn’t feeling it” and asks for a rain check most of the time. I love my wife so much, and she’s my dream woman in every way and the best mother to our kids, but lately I feel like I’m annoying her by trying to show her how attracted I am to her. I did some Googling and ended up finding a Reddit dedicated to “dead bedrooms,” and it made me feel sick with how familiar it all sounded. Reading more, I decided to have a conversation with her and tried to emphasise how important our relationship is without sex but that our sex life is also important to me and how I want to figure out how to get us back on track. She said she didn’t think it was that big of a deal or that we were even off track, said the summer was busy and that small dry spells happen. She wasn’t unkind and told me that we’d find some time when the kids were at a sleepover. The weekend and sleepover came, and she said she was really tired and just wanted to watch a movie and relax, which we did instead. I was disappointed, but I don’t want to be that guy badgering his wife for sex. I guess I’m concerned that we won’t be able to solve the problem if she doesn’t admit we have one, and I can’t imagine living the rest of our marriage like this. How can we get out of this dry spell? Rising From The Dead Dear Rising from the Dead, First, we’re glad you found r/deadbedrooms . When you have a seemingly niche personal problem, it’s reassuring to know that the issue is so widespread, there’s a whole subreddit dedicated to dealing with it. “Sexless marriage” was actually the top-searched marriage complaint on Google a few years back , according to data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. That subreddit you mentioned averages a whopping 161K visitors a week. No one is in the wrong when a couple’s sex life takes a nosedive. Life – kids, work, the general hellscape that is living in America – can get in the way of getting intimate at the end of a long day. Give yourself some credit, though. It’s not at all easy to broach a subject like this – it puts you in a vulnerable position – but it sounds like you’ve mostly done it with tact and thoughtfulness, said Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. “It sounds like you’re in a tough spot where your needs for intimacy aren’t being met, and you’re also feeling like your wife doesn’t see the same level of concern that you do,” she said. “That disconnect can be really painful, especially when you’re trying to communicate how much this matters to you.” Even if it didn’t lead to immediate change, it has opened the door for more dialogue, which is obviously key. “Your wife might genuinely not see this as a problem because her experience of intimacy or connection might feel different from yours,” Marin said. “That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid, but it does mean that you’ll need to find a way to meet in the middle.” Cyndi Darnell, a sex therapist in New York, noticed one flaw in your approach, though. “I noticed that there’s not a whole lot of curiosity toward your wife in your letter,” Darnell said. “It’s: I love her so much. She’s my dream woman. She’s the best mother. But I feel like I’m annoying her. How do I show her I’m attracted ― that entire sentence is about you.” As the higher-libido spouse, it might be helpful to flip the script a bit and become curious about her . “Ask yourself: What’s going on for her, because for a lot of women, being a wife and a mother is an anti-aphrodisiac straight out of the box,” Darnell said. “This is really common when a woman is overworked, over touched, over needed and handling most of the emotional and mental labor of the household.” "Ask yourself: What’s going on for her, because for a lot of women, being a wife and a mother is an anti-aphrodisiac straight out of the box," said Cyndi Darnell, a sex therapist in New York. If this is where your wife’s head is at, look for opportunities to unburden her life so she’s got more time to relax, to feel herself. That doesn’t mean a weekend away with the girls having cocktails, either. “It means an actual change in how your domestic situation is structured, so she has more time to just be an adult human, to be a woman, to be a person like she used to be before she became a wife and a mother,” she said. “I think that this is really critical.” It might help to remind your wife that for you, this is about more than just getting off. It’s the closeness you crave, not just the orgasm. “Many women feel like their husbands want them ‘just for sex,’ but most men tell me they also highly value the closeness, affection, and emotional intimacy that comes from sex as well,” offered Kimberly Resnick Anderson , a sex therapist in Los Angeles. “If you fit into this category, it might be helpful to tell your wife that.” It may be something else entirely that’s impacting your wife’s sex drive, though, and you’ll have to have a second difficult conversation ― maybe even a series of them ― to find out what that is. It will feel less like badgering for you (and possibly for her) if you try to focus less on the “problem” and more on what you’re longing for, Marin said. “For example, instead of saying, ‘I feel like we’re in a dry spell,’ you could say, ‘I miss feeling close to you in that way, and I’d love for us to find ways to reconnect,’” she explained. Framing it as a desire for missed connection rather than a critique of what’s missing for you may help her feel less defensive and more open to exploring solutions collaboratively. Finally, remember that intimacy doesn’t have to start with sex. “Sometimes, focusing on non-sexual touch, quality time, or even just flirting can help rebuild that sense of closeness without the pressure of jumping straight back into a full-on sex life,” Marin said. “It’s about creating a foundation where you both feel seen, valued, and desired.” Related... Here's What Sex Therapists Want Couples In Sexless Marriages To Know 10 Common Reasons For A Sexless Marriage, According To Sex Therapists Vanilla Sex Can Be Great, But These 5 Things Will Make It Steamier